With fathers gone, Rohingya families at sea this Aidilfitri

Sitting in the small living area of a cramped flat in the capital city, Shamshidah Yar Muhammad recalls better times.

With Hari Raya Aidilfitri just around the corner, there are plenty of happy memories to choose from.

"My husband would take the whole family out to walk around and see the sights. We would look for new clothes for Raya.

"He would take our sons for Raya prayers at the mosque, and then we would all enjoy a meal at home."

For this meal, Shamshidah would make "luci fica" – a dish resembling capati which they would eat with gravy. After that, the family would visit relatives and friends to exchange Raya greetings.

All of this changed in the blink of an eye with her husband's death last year.

Shamshidah remembers receiving the news as if it was only yesterday. "His friends at work told me that he was beaten to death," she said.

And just like that, Shamshidah became a widow at the age of 28.

A police report was lodged, but there was little else that Shamshidah could do. Alone with her four children, she mourned the death of her husband as well as their time together as a family.

There were also financial problems to deal with – her husband had been the sole breadwinner, earning RM2,000 to RM3,000 a month doing manual labour. While not an extravagant amount, it was enough to pay the bills and put food on the table and clothes on their backs.

Without him, the family has been relying on charity from welfare bodies and whatever meagre amounts Shamshidah's brother can spare.

Their situation is made more precarious by the fact that all of them are foreigners. Shamshidah is a Rohingya from Myanmar, as was her husband.

She and her children are among some 200,000 Rohingya refugees estimated to be in Malaysia.

Back home, they face persecution and poverty. But the situation is often difficult in Malaysia as well, where they are largely shunned by the locals and blamed for social ills.

Problems and misunderstandings

Mohammad Sadek, an activist and local Rohingya leader, attributes the situation to problems integrating into Malaysian society.

"Misunderstandings arise from their lack of communication with locals, especially the Malays, the language barriers, and their low education levels," he said.

"The Rohingya don't know how to interact with the community around them."

Mohammad also blamed propaganda by the Myanmar military and anti-Rohingya groups which he said had slandered the community for certain interests.

Locals are also concerned about whether the Rohingya will eventually be repatriated to a third country.

"The Rohingya enter Malaysia, but they do not leave," Mohammad said.

"This gives rise to the belief that they have come to take away job opportunities and homes from the locals."  

Back in the tiny flat, though, Shamshidah and her children are just trying to get by. Rent for the small room in the flat which they share with three other Rohingya families is about RM400 a month.

For now, the amount is covered by an NGO based in Selayang which helps them pay their rent each month.

But with Raya approaching once more and no money to be had, the atmosphere is grim.

"The children are sad and keep asking where their father is," Shamshidah said.

"My oldest son dreams about his father. He misses the times when we would go out together as a family."

Rent over Raya

In another small room in a house some distance away near Sentul, Lindawati Supardi has a similar story of struggles and loss.

Lindawati, an Indonesian, married a Rohingya and came to Malaysia with her husband in 2010. They had two sons together before he succumbed to health problems last year.

Like Shamshidah, Lindawati was left to raise her children alone. She earns RM50 a day as a regular cleaner at two houses in the capital city, but the money doesn't go far – the room in the house which they share with other Rohingya families costs RM650 in rent each month.

Her sons, 11 and 14, attend a privately run school in Sentul although the younger boy has a learning disability.

None of them expects very much this year in terms of Raya celebrations.

"I used to cook my husband's favourite food for Raya," Lindawati said. "I learnt how to cook from the other Rohingya I met after coming to Malaysia."

But with her husband gone, everything she earns must go towards keeping a roof over their heads.

"There will be no new clothes or kuih," she said.

The only thing she has planned is a trip to the cemetery.

"My older son was very close to his father and always sought him out," she said.

"After my husband died, I took my sons to visit his grave every Friday. This Raya, I will do the same. They don't have any other family here to visit."

Speaking to MalaysiaNow, activist Mohammad expressed hope that the government and Malaysians in general would work together to reduce the stigma against Rohingya such as the families of Shamshidah and Lindawati.

He believes the key to this lies in education and job opportunities.

"Without education, they will not be able to find work and break the cycle of poverty," he said.

"One day, when circumstances allow it, they will definitely want to return to their homes in Myanmar."